Never tell your wife that her personality reminds you of a fish.

OK. Lets start by setting this up and letting you know exactly what was said:

Wife: What about my personality?

Me: umm…ummm…It reminds me of a fish.

Wife: !@#$%^&*(!%&!!

Looking back I probably could of done better. I think I should of been more specific, like a Walleyed Pike or Large Mouth Bass.

I know how it sounds but I meant well. I love fishing. But to be honest I really don’t know what kind of personalities fish have. The truth is my wife wanted to talk to me when I was watching In-Fisherman on the Outdoor Channel.

I got confused.

How could she expect a good answer when I’m learning about the latest lure and fishing techniques?

We’ve been married long enough that she should know better.

Come to think of it, this is her fault not mine. She knows that she’s suppose to tell me what to say.

By all rights it should be her that is banned to the shed not me.

It’s cold in here.

Decisions

Did you ever have an Angel and a Devil help you make tough decisions? What about everyday boring decisions?

CAST
Sam – Tomer Shechori
Chloe – Josie Martineaux
Devil – Elvis Winterbottom
Angel – Kristoffer Garrison

Director
Tomer Shechori

Writers
Tomer Shechori
Josie Martineaux

Director of Photography
Josie Martineaux

Sound
Mateo Pascual

Editors
Joshua Bevier
Aaron Williams

Producers
Tomer Shechori
Joshua Bevier

Special Thanks
Zack Snyder
ROAR Network
Loyola Marymount University

My awesome bio written by somebody else

Elvis Winterbottom is considered the greatest actor, writer, director that ever lived ever by everyone. Since he was born people have stood in awe of his talents.

His fellow actors have repeatedly asked him to stop being so much better than them.

Why one time Elvis was doing a play with other actors and the other actors parents all came to see the show and when asked they said they only came to see Elvis and not their kids. It was sad for the other actors but it was true.

So there you go. He’s really good.

And if you think that it’s me writing my own bio, it’s not. This is somebody else, it’s not me. I don’t know why you’d think that I’d write my own bio because I wouldn’t. I can’t help it if someone else writes a bio about me. It’s just the way it is. So again, to be clear, this is not me writing this bio it is someone else who I don’t even know but just decided to write a bio about me.

Thanks,
Elvis

http://www.elviswinterbottom.com
(Be sure to subscribe to my blog!)

Of course I write blogs!

People have been asking me if I write blogs and I always say, “Of course I write blogs.”

Then for some reason they say “Do you even know what blogs are?”

I don’t know why you guys always ask me that. Of course I do. Heck I remember I the first I wrote blogs was on a dumpster. It was in all caps “BLOGS”.

Man I was so scared I was going to get caught. But I didn’t, and I’ve been writing “BLOGS” like everywhere since.

I’m so hard core I even have a tattoo that says BLOGS.

So I’m tired of you guys telling me about BLOGS. You should be asking me for pointers not telling me that I need to get more “high tech”.

Which brings me to my next point. I’m SOOOO high tech! I’ve got like 2 pagers and if you can’t tell I’m using my electronic typewriter right now to send you this letter. I’ll be honest I’m not sure where to insert the paper so I can line up the tabs but it’s only because its a new typewriter. So it looks like it’s up to me to pave the way again for the rest of you.

http://www.elviswinterbottom.com